It feels slightly intimidating to break the silence on this blog. Our last post was over two full years ago. 2022. 2023. Past tenses now. As we enter 2024, I feel it’s time to make space for writing.
This was not pre-planned. But somehow as I crashed at the end of 2023 at the lowest of low moods, mixed with feelings of overwhelm that has lingered the past year like mold that slowly spread, topped with PMS irritability and anxiety. I also turned a page.
We have gone through a lot in the past three years, many things beyond our control and not what we had anticipated for ourselves. Life has felt spiraling, moving too fast, too busy with demands of kids, of work, of daily tasks. Even the things that broke us, the dying of loved ones, happened too fast. It has been all-consuming, and we struggled to survive and get through it. That’s not say there hasn’t been many moments of joy, and some breaks and highlights but these are far between and not enough. Not enough to process the trauma, not enough to rest and reset probably and not enough to feel completely our best selves.
It is rare for me to have a moment of solitude for myself that enables me to write. If I’m free from kids I’m working, and if I’m not working I’m dealing with the kids. and their drama. But it is not only the excuses of no time and space, there has also been a piece in me that hasn’t felt ready to write. Putting it off. And the less I did, the less I feel capable of holding words. As I re-read some of my old writing, I’m struck by what I was able to express. And I want to find that again.
Here in a hip cafe in Hudson, on a getaway with my sister, on the second day of 2024, I felt the urge to write again. And by choice, instead writing an email or reading or staring into space – I decided to draft this post.
We always have a choice, and I’m dreaming that 2024 will be a year of making brave choices that prioritizes our wellbeing, mental health and creativity and of saying no and setting firm boundaries even when it’s hard.
Breaking the silence on this blog that lasted a whole 8 months. 8 months of the most unthinkable, and living in its aftermath. This post isn’t about the 8 months – I will try to work through and write more about it later – but to pick up on where we left. Teo, the little newborn who has now blossomed into the sweetest 9 month old boy.
Teo has now been outside my belly just as long as he was inside. Nine months holds such a special importance. While we are still inseparable most of the time, everyday he continues to grow, grow up, grow independently from me. He’s also growing into the sweetest age yet. He’s starting to understand what we say and responding in his way, reacting when he doesn’t get what he want, and playing!
He started babbling a while back and his first words are abo (grandma) and bababa – no mama yet. He knows as soon as my phone is out and will call out ‘abo’ when video calling with grandma. He will always flash a smile as soon as he sees her face. He started crawling but then went straight to pulling up. I thought he was about to jump straight into walking, but recently he discovered that crawling can actually get him to places. So now he has adopted a one legged bum scoot. It gets him everywhere, and he can go straight to sitting up and then pulling up in lightning speed. Suddenly he has turned into a little puppy, following us around the apartment and even out the front door when his big sisters go to school. He loves to play peekabo, if you put a towel over his head, he’ll pull it off with a grin while saying “heh!” We also noticed he loves to play with the ball, attempt to throw it towards us.
This week we started baby swimming class. He was so confused the first time I took him. What am I doing trying to change clothes and bring him into the not-so-warm water?! His lips quivered and some cries took place. But after singing and splashing he got used to it and really enjoyed himself. Second time went so much smoother, already knowing what to expect he had fun. Similar to Ellinor, he’s also a big observer – loves to watch new people and places. A lady in the changing room called him a buddha baby.
But he’s not always calm. Especially not when Alva’s around. As soon as he sees Alva his eyes light up with excitement, it’s like he knows they are going up to mischief. When these two take a bath together, it’s songs in the highest volume (Alva) and splashes to maximum effort (Teo). Alva’s sudden peekaboos and jumps and weird sounds always gets him to squeal and laugh. We might think it’s loud, but Teo loves it. Ellinor on the hand tries to read to little brother, and can hold and carry him around which he likes. She’s also great at coaching him on the walker.
On eating and sleeping, it’s pretty much a repeat of the big sisters. Teo loves breastfeeding, and he enjoys food. He loves fruits, yoghurt, bread. He eats by himself but also likes to be spoon-fed. Not a fan of bland steamed food, he prefers curried vegetables over steamed. He loves pasta in all shapes and forms. He naps well in his stroller, sometimes just once a day though he needs a second nap. And at night he sleeps with me in bed, waking a few times to nurse.
There is nothing that makes you feel time more acutely than when you have a baby. This time a year ago, I was just entering my third trimester. Still with a reasonable sized belly, and with all the curiosity and wonder of what that belly may bring. I imagined that a year later we’d have a new member in the family, but it was all conceptual, abstract- how would this new person be, how would it feel to be a family of five, where would we be, how would it all feel? Never in my imagination would I have thought that we would have lost my father, the children’s grandpa on the way- and that we would walk through a nightmare, and somehow still be ok. Intact. And that Teo would save me, save us again and again with his smiles, his presence and his eyes from the depth of an ancient soul, with his understanding and his wonder at life.
We love you Teo, like your name – you are a gift. We are so lucky to have you in our lives!
Hi little man, I’m glad to be starting these posts again but bittersweet that a month and more has already passed since your beautiful entrance to the world which I will forever treasure. The concept of time has been so different this month, sometimes too fast (how are you already a month old?) yet stretching beyond forever (minutes when you can’t get to proper sleep and cry from discomforts), but most of all it has felt circular rather than linear. As I get to know you and watch you, you remind me so much of your big sisters and I’m both living in the present and past. As if the three newborn phases existed simultaneously in an parallel universe.
We’ve always wondered if we would ever have one of those miracle baby that just slept, maybe third time the charm? I bought a used bedside bassinet in hopes that perhaps you’d want to take 3 hour naps. After using it a couple of times the first two weeks, it is now standing there dusting and acting as a holding pen for burp cloths, soiled clothes, my Kindle, etc next to our real sleeping place – together on the big bed. As soon as you started feeling gas in your tummy, and spitting up milk it’s been hard to sleep longer stretches lying down unless you’re in the stroller. And just like your sisters, you love breastfeeding, and can eat for days. Until you’re so full the milk is just running out of your mouth. Then you spit up, and then you want more. You also love being carried on our chests, so you’re close to your old home and upright which feels good for the tummy. No matter how fussy you are, wearing you always does the trick!
When you’re awake you sport a thoughtful, contemplative look and love doing staring contests with us. Unlike your sisters, you haven’t yet flashed us a true smile no matter how much we are trying to make you laugh. We have a bit of contest going now on who will get the smile points, and I’m sure when you do it will be the excitement of the century.
Alva: “Teo du är sååååå söööööt. Du är sötast i världen” She adores you, and wants to see you first thing in the morning and when she comes home from school. Diving straight in for kisses on your head. We have to tell her to wash her hands millions of times, and she’s really over it. In fact, she’s pretty much not listening to what we tell her to do at the moment. And also really exerting her voice and needs since becoming the middle child. There’s been quite some temper recently when she doesn’t get her way, but to you it’s mostly love and pride (always asking when I can bring your to pick her up from daycare). She’s great at singing to you and telling her made up stories. She’s also the only one calling you Teodor.
Ellinor: Already the pro big sister, she’s ever so helpful. She always asks if she can hold you, and is a bit upset that she’s not allowed yet to hold you upright while walking around or wear you (which is what you prefer, rather than being cradled like a baby). She will intuitively hold your hands while we change diaper, and also put on the new diaper – but draws the line at wiping your poop. After watching a kid documentary series on a koala rescue center she has adopted you as her baby koala. Her biggest achievement is once putting you back to sleep. She came into your bassinet (ah yes there are moments you’ve slept there) when you woke up crying and cuddled you close with her whole body and gave you the pacifier multiple times until you fell back asleep. And I got to finish my shower!
The last days of this pregnancy felt like time stopped, I was floating in an eternity neither here nor there. I felt so ready mentally, like the birth could happen anytime but also knowing that it may take a while yet. His due date, Monday 15th February, came and went and all I felt was some Braxton-Hicks and vague aches in my back. I decided to go ahead and go on an apartment viewing with my sister in the evening. There’s something very rebel about the feeling of moving about town on your due date, during the corona pandemic. The apartment we saw was lovely, and also popular, and the real estate agent was impressed that I was the first client she had who went on a viewing on their due date. Afterwards we walked around the neighborhood and looked for a place to have dinner – deciding finally on a small Korean spot and I got to have my soondubu jjigae!
(In fact, I haven’t been so much out and about since the pandemic started as I was during the last days of pregnancy. Teo really gave me a chance to eat my way around Stockholm, and feel the normal life before we go into our cocoon again.)
Tuesday 16th was Fettisdagen – Shrove Tuesday – which is the big day for eating ‘semlor’ (read more). Given my obsession for semlor this pregnancy, I was quite sure he might decide to come on the day. But alas no.
On Thursday, 3 days after his due date I was booked in for an check up with my midwife and we agreed to do a membrane sweep. But first daddy and I had lunch at K28, a big bowl of pork ramen for me and a falafel burrito for daddy. Then I felt ready to go.
The discomfort didn’t come immediately, but slowly towards the evening on Thursday I was getting some mild contractions. I topped it all off with last glass of ‘förlossningsdrink’ (a labour induction cocktail, based on castor oil) – this time with real prosecco! Then took a nice bath. During the night the contractions started to intensify, and I felt the excitement that things were about to happen! I could still fall sleep in between, and the contractions felt most towards early morning. Around 6am Ellinor woke up and found me in the living room. I was leaning on the sofa and rocking on my knees and she instinctively came and rubbed my lower back. The touch was magical, and instantly took any pain away. We cuddled and chatted in the dark, excited for what’s to come. We even downloaded a contraction timer app and she helped me time a few contractions. Then daddy and Alva got up and the world stirred and came back to life, and the contractions died down. By the time we had gone through breakfast and morning chaos and whisked the girls off to school, I was feeling pretty much back to normal.
All through Friday I was anticipating the contractions to return any moment, but they didn’t. I got a full day of pottering around the house, napping and out for a lunch in our local restaurant. We decided to go over to my parents for dinner, to keep ourselves distracted and also to eat some yummy Chinese food. I was already starting to get my contractions back, and on the walk to my parents place (10 min away) I had to stop a few times to take them. They were really manageable, and I knew I had to keep moving. My dad had cooked this fattest dong po rou (braised pork belly) for me and afterwards, I asked Mimmi to braid my hair. Kenneth put the girls to bed, and then we walked home – me leaning on him for a break each time a contraction came.
With Ellinor and Alva, I was always 2-3cm dilated when we arrived at the hospital and sent out for a walk. So this time around, we were keen to stay home as long as we could. We gave the hospital a call and let them know contractions have started, and then went straight to bed to get some rest. By this time I was getting regular contractions every 6-7 minutes, for a minute long. Kenneth gave me some massage and went to sleep. I warmed my wheat pillow and put in on my lower back, dozing on and off between contractions. By 1am I felt some shift in the contractions. They were getting more intense, but still not that close. It felt like a good time to start getting ready to move to the hospital – as much as I didn’t want to get there too early I also didn’t want to end up too late and being too far along. I woke Kenneth up, set up my Tens in my lower back and we timed a few more contractions. They were lasting a bit longer now, 1.5 minutes and felt strong with 5 minutes break apart. We called the hospital to say we were ready to come in, then called my dad to pick us up. Kenneth grabbed our hospital bag and car seat, and off we went driving through the night.
10 minutes later we arrived at Danderyd’s hospital, where my birthing center – BB Stockholm – was located. We took the elevator up to the 9th floor and was greeted by the most welcoming sight. The midwives and nurses all said hi and took us straight to our birthing suite which was all prepared. There was soft music playing, dimmed lights and fake tea lights – at 2am Saturday morning the birthing center was filled with calm. One of my worries was the transition to hospital, and what if they didn’t have space for us, etc. But our transition couldn’t have been more smooth. The midwives – a team of lead midwife Sofia and student midwife Linnea – did check ups in my room, not in some triage holding place. When they said that I was now 5-6 cm open and cervix was super soft, I was overjoyed and so relieved! And secretly thanked evening primrose oil for helping to soften my cervix.
Settling into the room gave me a rush of new energy and I felt ready to get on to the next stage of labour. Kenneth called our doula, Maria, to let her know that she can join us. The midwives just needed to listen to the baby every 15-20 minutes but otherwise I was free to move around as I wished. We settled on the birthing ball and the couch. It felt like a comfortable position, letting gravity help the baby by bouncing but I could lean into the big pillow while Kenneth massaged my lower back. While contractions were getting stronger, I always had a good few minutes break and could chat between or doze. When my doula Maria arrived around 3.30 I felt another sense of calm, everything and everyone was in place. She brought more tea lights and coziness, and started to coach me through every contractions – so I was never alone. By this stage I was quite deep into myself, and this part of labour feels like a haze. I would naturally sink deeper and deeper into the contractions, and the repetition of the words Maria said – relax, relax your jaws, breathe more quiet, calm – over and over again like a mantra was all that I heard. And Kenneth pressing my lower back, whispering how strong I was. Contractions must have come quite strongly now and much more frequent, sometimes I think they also dipped slightly but then came back up again without a break. I was so in tune with how they felt, and hardly had to communicate as they came to Maria who seemed to grasp whenever one was coming my way – despite saying a few times it’s hard to notice as I always seemed the same level of calm. There was one or two times when she didn’t catch it as it came and those definitely more intense. It’s an absolute wonder how words and touch can be the strongest pain relief.
At no point did I feel any need for further pain relief. I was managing so well in my deep meditative state, with some warm compresses on my back, words from my doula and and closeness from Kenneth. I was so safe and secure, and the room was flowing with oxytocin. At some point I think I fell asleep so hard between contractions that I was snoring (haha). Occasionally humor also helped, like when Maria offered chocolate and we both said maybe – but then she pulled out two Norwegian Kvicklunch and we were like hell yes! Kenneth joked if she always has snacks customized for the couple. As the contractions got stronger, sometime around 5am the midwives asked if I would like to get the pool ready. There was one big birthing pool in the center and thankfully it was available. A part of me was still feeling surreal, will I really be getting the water birth I dreamt of? By 5.30am, the pool was filled, and they checked me again. 7 cm, and cervix was ‘soft as butter’ (god how I love hearing that phrase!). I was allowed to move into the pool.
Oh that sensation of entering the pool! It was the most magical feeling – not much unlike when I had the epidural set in with the first two. The warm water enveloping my body immediately took any pain away. I floated around and felt so happy and content. Contractions came and didn’t feel as painful, and soon enough they started to shift in nature, feeling more like a heavy pressure downward. I started to drift off to sleep and my doula told me she was quite sure I took one contraction entirely asleep. Kenneth also cat-napped on the side of the birthing pool for a short while. The room was so still and quiet, like a dark cave. It was a beautiful, serene moment. The heavy pressure kept coming but it almost felt as if contractions were on pause. Actually it was just oxytocin at work.
After nearly two hours of this slower pace, I started to feel impatient as I didn’t feel that he was moving that much further down. At this point my water was still intact, so he was lying in his amniotic sac and for me it felt like the push feeling was still very abstract like I couldn’t get a grip around him. As daylight came and the midwives needed to change shift, the world started returning to the room. At 8.40am the new midwife team checked me again, his head was low and my cervix was very soft and open 7cm. We decided to break the water to speed things up. Almost immediately afterwards, the push contractions became much more intense and raw. I felt such a power going down, and the only thing holding me together was Kenneth’s hands holding my hips together. When I felt that I could actually ‘grip’ around him and focus my breathe downwards and feel him moving out, I got so excited. I just wanted to keep breathing and pushing, despite this being the toughest part. With a few of the deepest breaths I’ve ever taken I felt myself expand, and his head was inching its way. I could feel the tip of head, his little furry and slimey hair. This gave me so much energy and instinctively I used my voice, saying “jaaaa” (yes, to the contractions, to meeting my little guy). The raw, primordial pushing sensation was so powerful, and I was so eager to meet him, that the midwife had to remind me to take it a bit slower in order to not push him out in one go and tear more than necessary. It only took a few more minutes for him to leave the womb, and I felt the whole process, mentally, from the inside and with my hands. Then suddenly and softly, his whole body was out in the water. The clock showed 9:31am.
We pulled him up from the water and I plopped him on my chest, a big soft blob. Daddy wrapped his arms around both of us. The sense of relief, tears of joy, the feeling of awe and magic seeing, hearing, feeling this new life out in the world. 9 months of waiting and wonder, preparation and anticipation, and it only took a few seconds together to feel: well yes, of course, it was you all along. Welcome to this crazy world, Teo, you are right where you belong.
Thank you for giving this mama, on the third try, her dream water birth and the full sensation of how powerful, calm, and natural a birth can be like – without any medical interventions.
(Friends: enjoy the photos below, most of them were taken by our doula Maria who we are so grateful to for capturing these special moments. She also caught the moment of birth on video which you can watch from this link. I myself watched tons of water birth videos to inspire myself leading up to this birth, so happy to share mine)
It’s high time to revive this blog with the grand occasion of presenting the newest member of the Ivershen family – little Teodor Mutian Iversen. Just like his now big big sister Ellinor, he arrived fashionably five days late, on the morning of Saturday, 20th February. His birth was the most supported and peaceful transition of the three (and the one this mama prepared most for), entering the world gently head first into water of the big birthing pool before being pulled up by mommy. It took an hour or two before he was measured and weighed, a sweet in-between time where he cuddled, relaxed and nursed on me allowing the cord between us to go completely white. And when the midwife did put him on the weight, to our shock he was a total 4.18 kg! And measuring 51 cm. Nearly half an kilo bigger than his sisters and slightly taller. Our earthy baby ox, who’s Chinese name 牡田 means “shepherd” or “caretaker” of farmlands and the signs include both ox, earth and rice fields, is deemed to be the diligent, hard working little farmer in the family. Teodor stems from Greek, meaning gift from God. I’m not religious but his birth has definitely been the biggest gift, connecting me to the strongest, most spiritual powers that is Mother Nature.
17th May is one of the bigger holiday traditions in the Ivershen household, and this might be the first year the girls didn’t dress up in bunad (I think we left them in Norway last year, most likely assuming we’d be back for another 17th May). But besides bunad, we ticked off most of the items on the list including: ice cream, waffles and brown cheese, scramled eggs for breakfast and a blötkake – and had a virtual 17th may celebration with the grandparents.
As much as we coped and tried our best, it’s still nothing like the real thing and I’m wondering if we’d ever have a chance to go back to the busy bustle of of 52nd street, and the yearly block party that the Norwegian Seamen’s Church threw for 17th may. To think we were there four years in a row. The day would often be so hot and crowded, and you’d have to queue to get over-priced Solo and hot dogs – but the parade was noisy and fun and we always left sweaty, struggling back into an crowded M train happy, filled with a sense of community.
Our community now is our little suburb of Frösunda, and this afternoon we had our annual cleaning day. Neighbors get together, plant new flowers, oil the wood, dig up and clean the sand, take away old leaves. The older kids help out, and the younger ones blow bubbles. The weather was cold and windy, typical May in Sweden, still there was a warmth of making oneself useful, and spending some time with others. And dinner was fixed with a communal barbecue of hot dogs, burgers and juice for the kids. It was a pretty good afternoon, and perhaps as good as it gets in these strange days of corona.
an inventory of a (self-assessed, slightly dramatic) week:
our international book order finally arrived. words and images of valeria luisella, miranda july, david sedaris, caroline criado perez, toshikazu kawaguchi all indivudally wrapped and ready to be dug into. as well as equal amount or more in children’s literature.
ellinor caught a cold, and was home with fever on thursday. fever passed quickly, runny nose stayed. alva claims she caught a cold too, but apart from being snottier than usual she’s just as loud and energetic (if not more so).
after a couple of days of general worry about our uncertain future and broken half-made plans, thursday saw my work give an all staff announcement that they need to give notice to lay off 5-25 staff. i subsequently signed up to a-kassa (unemployment insurance).
we made our second tik tok video – #blindinglights and alva has found deep-seated love for japan’s number 1 tiktoker who make silly videos of himself doing “it’s corona dance” and falling into a bathtub. she finds this HILARIOUS.
ellinor’s newfound joy of old school hopscotch. and my joy to see her innocently playing outside, a break from all the constant curiosity of what’s happening on our phones, and computers.
sunday evening saw daddy coming down with a cold too.
being the last woman standing, blogging felt too unrealistic an expectation. especially as i wallowed in the signature self-pity hormones that you feel at the precipice of an impending period.
now, writing in bed with some mild cramps and the sunset over my face everything seems calmer, clearer, like we have steered through a storm that was mostly in my head and i know we will figure it out, we always do.
A long weekend back at our favorite place right now, Ekerö. The church second-hand (loppis) re-opened with limited entrance, and Alva pictured with her haul: a crown, a garlic book, and a robot arm pick up tool – which Ellinor later used to pick up trash. In the picture she’s playing super hero, and making us emergency call her every 2 minutes because a thief had broken in to our house and stolen daddy’s underwear. Alva then comes to the rescue on her super bike, and uses the robot arm to catch the thief. We then do the same scenario at least 10 times, with some minor adjustments to what’s being stolen.
Sometimes Ellinor gets restless and likes to say she’s bored. So I preemptively give her chores. It’s successful about 50% of the time, like this task of cutting old dried up flowers. Not long after a lady bug distracted her. She caught it and placed it in her insect jar for a quick examination and then it was let out, crawling for a while on both Alva and her arms until into flew off. What then followed was a wild action packed sequence, of the lady bug flying off right into a spiderweb, getting caught and the spider coming to speedily to try to eat it but failed as we ran over to see, it retreated. As we watched, the ladybug then managed to disentangle and fall off the web. Nature has never been so exciting.
Not pictured, discovering a few small puffballs (röksvamp) in our garden. Alva spotting all the deer poop (she has a super eye for those). Ellinor going for a jog with me where claimed she either likes to run or walk, but this slow jogging is not her thing. Cuddling with baby lambs at the annual lamb days at Överjärva. Kenneth looking cute in a tangerine hoodie which I bought for myself. And singing along to top hits on the car radio – quality pop à la Melodifestivalen (Swedish Eurovision) and some other Swedish hits like “Svag” and “En säng av rosor” – ballads that are quickly winning the girls hearts.
We discovered today that Alva can roll her tongue! She was shocked herself when she saw the photo, and then promptly became very proud of her new skill – showing off how easy it was to do to her big sister and dad who doesn’t possess tongue-rolling skills yet.
Spring came with full force this week. I didn’t get to fully enjoy the warmer weather during the week, as work has been busy but we made up for over the weekend. Bikes were oiled, and we went on a first ever family bike trip yesterday to the ponies at Överjärva gård and today another one to Ulriksdal, because the girls both said they wanted to plant more flowers. Alva’s actually quite obsessed right now to discuss all the flowers by the sidewalks – which one is your favorite? Is one or that? Occasionally she will stop to smell. Reminds me of a phase Ellinor had at 3, where she’s lie on her tummy to smell every flower on the Williamsburg sidewalks.
On Friday, Kenneth and I managed a lunch date – no work, and no kids! First lunch out in town, we got to some pho at Eatnam, followed by a cappuccino at café pascal. Apart from some stickers showing where to stand in line, and tables sealed off to make the spaces less crowded – life under corona in Stockholm is pretty normal. We’re still washing our hands and being very diligent with hand sanitizers, and only taking the bus in for school. Alva talks about not having gym class “because: corona” in a matter-of-fact-way and Ellinor’s floorball class has moved outdoors. But other than that, we’re feeling less the impact of corona and have very much adjusted to a new normal.
The week we re-entered the world and returned to an almost normal life. On Tuesday Ellinor’s school re-opened again. Only the bilingual classes up to 6th grade, and then probably half the students showed up. It was a hallelujah moment tinged with some anxiety- what if? But after that initial bus ride, of seeing and chatting to parents IRL again, busy city streets, it’s amazing how quickly you readjust to old habits. I had so much plans for wearing face masks, disinfecting all our surfaces, but now that the week is closing these haven’t felt necessary. The habits we have adopted are frequent hand-washing, and after coming home, straight into the shower. No more snacks on the bus.
On Wednesday, I dropped them off at school in the city and then took an quite empty subway to work. The trip was triggered as I forgot my laptop charge in our cabin, and then I thought I might as well just go in. To my happy surprise a few colleagues also went back that day for the first time in a month, and I even had a nice lunch with one at our usual Indian place. The mom-and-pop restaurant was struggling though, as all the office workers had deserted the area and they will soon not afford to pay the rent.
Ellinor lost her top front teeth, which has been wiggling for ages. She’s so happy to be back in school, and we need to drag her from the playground – which is where we pick up because no parents are allowed inside the school. Social distancing in that playground is a distant dream though, kids are everywhere. Still they aren’t hugging and wrestling and Ellinor and her friends have made up their own elaborate corona greeting. Alva also enjoys being back, and on Thursday even went on a long walk (which she claims was short and easy!) to a large park and had picnic.
With Mimmi still in town, we made a productive Saturday morning of creative writing prompts and tik tok video. Then we went to play in Alva’s old daycare which is right below my parents apartment and managed to tempt my mom to come out and see us, and even bring lunch. We’ve said we’re doing social distancing with them now that the girls are back in school but still it’s possible to meet outside and have a chat which makes things all so much easier. Ellinor’s been keen on being independent at home, she can make a smoothie now entirely on her own, and also baked some cookies – with a little helper who was mainly there to steal sirup and scoops of sugar butter mix.
Easter break. Not that different from the previous weeks, except we’ve got a visitor! We spent the first part of the week by ourselves at the house, continuing with some Daddy school activities and work. Girls are often found biking around the terrace, trampolining and occasionally putting on a dress up show (like this Bollywood one – digging out and squeezing themselves in old dressed from India aka Stoods wedding era). When Mimmi and my parents came back to the house on Thursday, we were ready for true holiday and kicked off on some little projects. A ping pong table was built. Granpa went dug out some old fishing rods that belonged to great grandpa, and Alva found worms (but no luck with fish, too cold apparently?) Family bonding (and fighting) over Pinterest Easter crafts and painting. Baking and eating fresh buns out on a particularly beautiful evening sunset. Kenneth continues to run in the woods, proudly maintaining a Strava record.
Currently feeling bittersweet this is all coming to an end, as we’re supposed be returning to “real life” on Tuesday when Ellinor’s school re-opens again. There’s a bit of logistics to figure out as we go back into the (covid-filled) world, and I feel just lucky that we have been able to be all together, enjoying a few care-free days before reality kicks in.
Happy Easter and sending lots of love to whoever is still reading this blog out there! :)
This week from above. Highlight was a 24-hour social distancing break from the kids. They were happy to stay at Ekerö with my parents, and Kenneth and I snuck back to our apartment to water plants, pick up a few things and of course enjoyed a rare undisturbed dinner. Old classics such as Band of Horses, The Shins were played, candles lit and entire bottle of wine consumed.
I could complain about the girls craziness and noise level, and honestly breaks from each other are the cure to sanity. But honestly they are pretty amazing and adjusted so well, which just confirms how adaptable and resilient they are, and we could honestly be anywhere in the world (though for the foreseeable future we’ll probably be right here…) and as long as we have each other – life will go on as normal.
Spending all this time together they’re becoming closer sisters and friends, and fighting much less. This morning we heard them chit chatting after waking up in their bed for a long time. Today, true to their personalities one calmly sat and wrote a recipe for blueberry pie (while asking us a million questions on translation and spelling) and then took a photo (yes, the 3rd photo was taken not by me) and the other “helps” by snacking frozen blueberries and jokingly running around the room with her hands and face smeared purple.
I really don’t feel like talking or writing about Covid-19 anymore (and we’re still at the start…) This week I’ve been more and more “socially distancing” from news, which has been great for mental health. But of course I’m still very much up to date, not least because being in touch with friends and colleagues all over the world – which definitely is one of the silver linings coming from this crisis.
It was strange to go back to our apartment on Thursday, and to find our neighborhood and city pretty much going on as normal. We had a sunny walk in Hagaparken, and all the outdoor seating at the cafe was taken. So bizarre, and almost surreal when all around us countries are locking down and putting harsh restrictions on their citizens. I shift between immense cynicism and dread for what’s the come, to admiration of our public health authority’s belief in individual responsibility and voluntary action. This article pretty much sums it up.
In this experimental limbo state, we try to enjoy our freedom as much as we – socially distanced – can. We ordered takeaway from all our neighborhood restaurants. Spent some time in the playground, seeing other kids and chatted to a few neighbors (but not too close). I went on a bike ride to an outdoor garden, bought a plant and seeds. The girls enjoyed a messy afternoon of re-potting and we welcomed spring, the switch to summer time and looking forward to longer carefree days and finding out footing again.
Hello friends, it’s been a while. Nearly two years precisely, which is quite some time but passed in a blink of an eye. Ever since moving back to Sweden and starting full-time work, this blog (and my personal Macbook, and for most part camera) has been forgotten in the business of daily struggles gathering dust. But today I pressed click (the top photo, the rest are iPhone) and decided it’s time to rekindle this space – because, #documentingcorona and photography and blogging has always been my best coping mechanisms to get through life. And I have felt a part of me has been missing, and this may just be it.
I can remember our last “normal” day, Monday 9th March. I had a day off for International Women’s Day and volunteered to chaperone Alva and her daycare class to an ice-skating trip. 10 or so preschooler kids, tumbling around, where we spent more time to go to bathroom and feed them lunch than on the ice, but all a great day with friends. The next day Alva got a cough, so we kept her at home. I went to the movies with a colleague after work, and was getting tons of messages from my parents wondering where I was. Panicky ones to say, now it’s time to cancel everything. Move to the woods. We decided to still let Ellinor go to school the following day, which ended up being her last. From Thursday, her school decided to close. And thus, the home schooling and social distancing adventures started.
That sense of doom slowly descending upon us, a sixth sense of knowing this might be the last “fun” in a while. Because, we knew this was coming for a while now, ever since our family in China were put under lockdown, since the skiing tourists came back from Italy. It’s all very weird and surreal. Now, ten days or so in we are adjusting to the new normal. Ellinor’s done her first Skype calls with classmates, a Swedish class were her teacher read a book to students in pjs, and today an piano class on Zoom. Alva hasn’t really noticed much difference, she’s content playing with her big sister and her parents, like any holiday. But it’s not really a holiday, as I’m working from home. Kenneth is mostly the lead home-schooling parent right now, and lucky me that man has some deep reserves of pretend play patience (though even that tank might be running low now).
We’re super lucky to have a house in the countryside now, it’s not far from Stockholm, but feels like a different place. In the woods, by the lake. Perfect for social distancing. We’ve come mostly ever weekend before corona, and now will probably stay a bit longer each time. On good days, the sun is shining, pine cones are collected, hot dogs grilled and we spend a lot of time outdoors playing. On bad days we miss people, miss being out in the world, interactions and that anxiety-inducing feeling of an newsfeed that says the world is crumbling around us.
But as seasoned parents we should know, this is all but a phase. It feels intense, for us and for the world right now. There will be sleepless nights, it’ll probably be worse before it gets better. Still, we’re getting an opportunity to slow down, to spend more time with each other, and if we embrace this we might just grow closer and stronger and treasure this moment in time – which in a not so distant future will feel like an brief episode, a blink of an eye.
This morning our friend Sana and her family drove to my hotel to pick me up to take me to their city Salt. I sat in the back of the car with Zaid, who is turning 5 this summer. I was very happy to see him, because when you were little you met and played many times with him in New York. He liked me right away and showed me his Paw Patrol backpack.
As it is weekend today, there was no traffic and it took only 20 minutes to get to their city. Salt is a beautiful, old city, with lots of history. There are churches and mosques next to each other. All the buildings use limestone, so they are a pretty pale yellow color.
We walked around a bit and then we went to the Salt museum and got a tour of the historic building. The Jordan King’s great great grandfather used to live here. I learned a lot about the history of the city. It used to be the center for trading.
I also saw this very huge dress which the Salt women used to wear. It is almost as big as a whole wall! But when they wear it they fold the dress in many places. Still, it must be really heavy to wear this dress don’t you think? Sana said when she was little their grandmothers sometimes still wore this dress, but most people do not wear it anymore.
After the museum we drove to Sana’s house, and Zaid gave me a tour of his room. We also called you and Alva and daddy then.
We got quite hungry so we went for lunch at a nice restaurant, with delicious food again. We talked about that next time we should plan a trip with the whole family to Jordan, and go together to the desert and sleep under the stars!
We all wanted to take a nap after all the food, but instead we got into the car and they drove me all the way down to the Dead Sea (which is the lowest point on earth). I am staying at a nice hotel here with swimming pool and beach. It was a bit dusty and late today when I got here, but tomorrow morning I will go out and explore the Dead Sea and hopefully take a swim!
I’m counting down the days till I get home. Not many left now!
It is my last day of work today! Here in Jordan the weekend is Friday and Saturday instead of Saturday and Sunday. I’m happy that our work is done and tomorrow I will be visiting our friend Sana, who used to live in New York.
We were out all day today in meetings. We visited the UN office for refugees in the morning. They showed us the center where people come to register as “refugees”. There were many babies and children in the waiting room, and a man selling cotton candy outside. It made me very sad that some children are born as “refugees”, and have to come here and go through this process.
Then I went to visit Lara, a super brave and interesting Syrian woman who started her own shop called Syrian Jasmine. Everything in her shop is made by Syrian women. They make soaps, dolls, lamps, clothes… all kinds of creative things. I took many nice photos but they are on my camera and I’m too tired to move them to my computer but I bought a lot of presents at the shop :)
In the evening we went out to celebrate that we were done with our work! Here are some of my friends: Lara, Rania and Shaymoli. And Sofie and me.
That’s it for today! I’m counting down the days till I come home.
Are you having a fun snow day at home? Here it is sunny as usual, hot and dusty.
This morning my group drove an hour from Amman to visit a friend’s farm. Our driver Samir loved playing music from different countries and when he played Despacito (quite loud I must say) I missed you so much!
At the farm, we got to see several farm animals like sheep, horses and cow. But the coolest were camels that had white fluffy fur. They were very friendly and sweet.
We also saw a fruit farm with many apricot trees that were blooming. They are beautiful, don’t you think?
For lunch we got a delicious Yemeni meal of chicken and rice. Look how big the plate is!
I also met the cutest little puppy.
After lunch we returned to Amman. We got some free time and my friend Sofie and I went out to explore.
We walked down the hill.
Visited the market.
I saw some fresh buns that looked exactly like Cinnabon buns!
These three little brothers wanted me to take their photo, with this pose :)
Oh and it was Mother’s Day here today! In Arabic happy Mother’s Day is Eid Miled al-Um. It is strange to celebrate Mother’s Day without you and Alva. I can’t wait to come back soon. 4 more days!
Every morning I have an Arabic breakfast at the hotel and I love to decorate my plate into a circle of food.
This is the view from my hotel room window. I washed my pants and hanged it to dry in the sun. And dust. Jordan is very dusty because it has a lot of desert!
I visited Save the Children’s office this morning. This is the organization I used to work at when I was pregnant with you in Beirut. They told me how before the Syrian refugees came to Jordan, very few children were working in the country. But now there are more poor families and a lot more children have to work to help make money for their families. If they help parents find jobs, then children will not have to work and can focus on going to school.
Afterwards, I joined the rest of my group at a new business park. It is a place where many technology companies that work with phones and internet are together.
Remember when you did coding at school? I was a co-working space (basically a building where many people sit and work together on their computers) and I saw many people coding!
If you wanted to take a break, you could even use a fun room where I saw some robots!
I also tried to have some fun on the swing…
In the evening I found a cute book store called the Good Book Store. It was not bad (haha) and they had a very good kids room which I’m sure you would’ve loved! I wish I could have read books to you there.
Now I’m ready for bed. I need to wake up early tomorrow as we are doing a little trip outside of Amman to see a farm. I will have more exciting photos to show you tomorrow! Good night!
How was your school today? Did you work hard? I worked a lot today! It felt like we sat in meetings all day.
But I also saw some funny looking plants and a cute cat.
When I called you and Alva in the morning, I was having lunch at my favorite cafe called Books@Cafe because it is also a book store.
There are three other students in my group, Lara, Sofie and Ousmane. Here they are hard at work at the end of a long day.
When we were finally done with work, we went for a walk to the old city center as the sky got darker and found a nice restaurant for dinner. This is my room mate Rania enjoying a pomegranate juice. I had mango, it was delicious!
My day started with breakfast on our hotel’s rooftop, where I ate a Arabic breakfast of bread and zaatar with labneh, and some eggs. The sun was out and the view was nice.
Then we all got ready and went out for a walk across the city. Amman is very hilly, so we had to go down and up and up and down. It is spring here, so the hills are covered in greenery and flowers. Some grass even grew up from car tires!
When we got to the main street in downtown, where many restaurants and shops are, we walked past a juice shop. I had to stop and buy a juice. Guess what fruit I chose? Pomegranate! Your favorite. I wish we could get pomegranate juice in New York, I’m sure you would love it.
Afterwards, we walked some more, up higher and higher until we got to the top of one hill where the Amman Citadel was. Amman is made up of 7 hills, and this is one of them where an old city used to be. There was ruins of old city walls, and Roman temples, old churches and mosques. The view was magnificent. It felt like we were on the top of the world!
In the Roman temple of Hercules, there used to a very very big Hercules statue made of marble. It used to be 13 meters, but now only some parts are left. Can you see which ones?
Leaving the citadel we walked down the hill, and on our way we could see the old Roman Amphitheater. It was built nearly 2000 years ago by Romans, and is still used as a theatre or concert hall some days. It can seat up to 6000 people!
When we got all the way down, we were back in the city center and we passed through the souks (market) where there was so many fresh vegetables and fruits. I wanted to buy some, but we didn’t have time because we had to hurry to our first meeting for work. The man you see in the photo is wearing a traditional scarf called keffiyeh on his head.
After doing some work and meeting with a Norwegian organization working with Syrian refugees I ended my day watching a sunset that turned the whole city pink! I know it is not your favorite color anymore, but it was sure beautiful.
My legs are tired now from all the walking today, and I’m ready for bed.
After a long flight I have arrived in Jordan! I tried to sleep as much as I could on the plane, but it was noisy. There were many kids on the plane. One toddler cried a lot during my sleep and she sounded exactly like Alva! Did you hear Alva cry last night?
The airport in Amman is very nice and new.
When we got out of the airport it was late afternoon and we were met with a bright sun and warm air.
3 cars took us to our hotel in Amman. On our way we saw the sunset and also a brand new IKEA store! The signs are in Arabic, can you try to read it?
We only had time at the hotel to leave our bags and change, then we went to a very fancy restaurant called Fakhreldin for dinner. I was starving. But thankfully there was already a big plate of vegetables waiting for us. I ate lots of hummus, tabbouleh salad and my favorite batata harra (fried potato cubes in spicy sauce). There was also a bread man who kept giving us more warm bread with a big smile! For dessert we had fruits, sweets and tea. Yum!
It was getting late after dinner so we went straight back to our hotel. I saw a garden with a pretty fountain. The city is quiet and it’s time for bed.
I miss you so much! How was your day? Give Alva and daddy a big kiss from me!
I may have only 20 minutes to write this post. The girls are with Kenneth at the library. But let’s do it. Break the silence on this blog because 2018 is going to be a year we get things done.
We had the rare break of working home both of us, together on this rainy warm January day, while both girls are in school. And as a treat we had an undisturbed lunch and to discuss our thoughts and hopes for the future (it seems we get the chance to do every few months). We are hoping for some new adventures and changes this year, but we are not sure exactly what. I think we are coming up to a crossroad. On one fork we have a choice of remaining in New York, where I will finally graduate and eventually find a job, the girls continue in their great schools and Kenneth advance in his post. On the other fork we have new countries, and regions to explore and unknown adventures ahead. There are many pros and cons of each, and we hover between these options on a daily basis, unsure of what we individually, the kids, or as a family prefer.
Because in the end as much as we love New York, there is something hard and raw about this city. For example, today I saw a homeless man take a piss at the corner or Alva’s daycare entrance in the pouring rain. And later, on our way to the library, I saw three dead pigeons at one crossing. A rather awful afternoon in my books. But then New York two days ago was pure sunshine and beauty, and I’m sitting at a large expansive Danish cafe and art space called Norman starting to work on my thesis. I suppose, these moments can take place in any city, but in New York everything, like the weather, is more dramatic and record-breaking.
So, there is no conclusion to this post and my 20 minutes is up. Stay tuned as the fog hopefully lifts over our our future paths… and in the mean time, we (ahem, Kenneth, this includes you too ;) will try to be more productive with blogging while we attempt to finding our place in the world in 2018 as a family of four.
I leave you with a favorite moment this week, a peaceful morning of chai latte and croissant, with pretty light at a bakery, as Alva and I made our way to the doctor’s for her 18 months check up.
Such a big girl already, soon to be a whole year old! You have now mastered the art of walking, as you’ve persistently practiced your wobbly steps. You’re like a little bouncy ball, fall down, get up again, never a peep. Again and again. It’s amazing to watch how tirelessly you strive for your goals, and willing to take risks along the way. I never imagined we’d have a little girl that would walk before the age of one (Ellinor didn’t until 14 months) but you have shown us with ease that it’s possible.
You think big sister is the funniest. Her constant dancing, singing and monkey-ing around cracks you up. She’s the best entertainer. You get upset every morning when she leaves for school with daddy, and wishes you could go with them out the door. You got to tag along for drop off the last time and you happily waved bye to me.
Your fearless personality is starting to show through. Always curious and always happy to approach something or someone new. You love walking up to strangers and putting your hand on their lap. Then just hang out there for a while as if it’s the most natural thing to do. At the playground you like to tumble around like a little tipsy person and I try hard to keep up.
You LOVE stairs. You like being in the swings just for a little bit, because after a while you feel it confines you. The same goes for the high chair. You’re not a big fan of being stuck somewhere not being able to move around. You love climbing out to our terrace. If the door is open you’ll walk out immediately. The same goes for most doors and gates actually, if they are open it won’t be long till you are on the other side.
But as much as you love escaping, you also do come back to me mommy when you’re tired or hungry. Lately you’ve been teething for few days, and that always makes you clingy. So, while it can be exhausting to carry you more than usual or turn into a all-night human pacifier, I do cherish these moments of your baby-hood before you turn into a full-fledged toddler.
You turned 8 months old during our holiday in Vieques, Puerto Rico. This photo was taken right after we got home. At 8 months, you are a delight. You are working on your crawling, but you are not so fast yet so we can still plop you on the beach and know that you will stay where we left you. We brought the portable crib to the beach with sun shade and all, but you only took short naps preferring instead to sit on the blankets and eat sand.
Ellinor helped this month to make you sit still and smile so we could catch the elusive two little bottom teeth! She also wrote the 7 months sign.
I’m writing this closer to your 8 months, but the photo was on the day of you turning 7 months! It’s just impossible to catch up with so much happening.
You are sitting up all by yourself now, managing to go from crawling to sit and back to crawling. We’ve been going to mommy and me yoga, and it’s been such an amazing space for you to learn how to be mobile. It helps that the yoga teacher is a child movement specialist so she makes the class fun for both you and me. You are very agile, but you like to do things properly. Even crawling, you make sure you are up on all fours and then figure out how to move with grace.
Before turning 7 months you had a string of illnesses, we all did. One evening you vomited several times, and then several times again at night. After that you stopped eating solids for a while. When we spoon feed you a pureed meal, you’d stick your tongue out. So, except for some porridge and yoghurt, it’s been almost 100% baby led weaning. You do seem to have a preference for more chewy stuff like slices of apple, pear, steamed cauliflower, broccoli than soft mushy stuff like bananas and avocados.
We have started going out to more activities. I took you to a singalong the other day and you loved it. Loved watching all the other babies, rocking on all fours, chewing all the toys the teacher put out. She also took you on her lap for a song, and you happily sat there and demonstrated the moves. Stranger anxiety hasn’t seem to kick in yet. Or you just are a true model baby.
One weekend we also went to the library together with big sister and it was so sweet to see her holding you in her lap during storytime. I’m so glad that we have reached this sweet mobile stage as you’re now joining in the family fun, and enjoying outings more and more.
I wanted take a photo this month of your smile showing off your two little bottom teeth, but that was not your plan. Right now you are too distracted by any object within your reach, so you spent the entire photo shoot trying to grab the sign and putting it in your mouth or knocking it to the floor.
Teeth at 6 months means two things which I never experienced with Ellinor. One, biting while nursing (ouch!). When it happens, I pull you off and scorn at you and you flash me a cheeky smile. Thankfully lately you’ve been more ‘test biting’ than actual chomping down, which is slightly better, but still keeps me on my toes. Two, you eat solids like you’ve always eaten solids. Some things you eat by yourself: apples, zucchini, mango, rice rusks etc. And at least once a day we give you on proper pureed meal, such as chicken or salmon with millet, sweet potato etc.
You have started to crawl. But only backwards. Which really frustrates you sometimes when you want to reach something that’s in front of you. You’re also pretty good at sitting upright now, but would still occasionally flop over. Still you prefer it to being on your tummy.
Oh the big half year mark! I can’t believe it has come and gone. As it took place during Christmas, it was slightly submerged under all the holiday activities, but your big sister was gracious enough to share her 4th birthday with you. The positives of having a summer and winter baby is that you can both share your birthdays and get twice the fun. However, on the note of sharing, big sister is not always so gracious. Now that you have become more mobile and grabby and going after her toys, we have heard some complaints from their owner. So I envisage more of this to come, but you may revel in the thought that she has been 98% very sweet and caring to you until now.
You turned 5 months old while we were in India, lounging on a houseboat in the lush green backwaters of Kerala, so this post is more accurately 5 and a half months. But I don’t want to miss one in this series, so here goes.
At 5 months you have had a first taste of solids. It was a rather exotic start, of sweet little bananas, papayas and pineapples taken straight from source often in the backyards of the homestays where we spent most of our time in Kerala. You would attack the food like a little tiger, and you mull over the pieces you chew off as if you’ve eaten all your life.
You’re almost sitting up by yourself. We just started propping you up in a high chair so you can join us as mealtimes. Otherwise we have to take turns to eat as it’s impossible to do so anymore when you’re on our laps, you’re so fast at grabbing whatever is in your reach. In India this wasn’t such a problem as you had plenty of baby sitters (mostly other moms and grandmoms, sometimes dads, and sometimes even their children would pass you around) while we ate. Back in the city, we miss that communal element of child rearing, and I think you miss being held, and surrounded by lots of people. For now, the high chair will have to do.
In our last mommy and me yoga class, you spent a whole hour on the playmate, mostly on your tummy, but also rolling around with ease, backwards, in circles. Whenever you could reach another baby you’d try to much on their toes or knees. You get so excited when you see other children, but most of all your big sister, who cracks you up every time. Peekaboo with a blanket is a huge hit and gets you laughing like a crazy.
Just a few days ago your first bottom tooth cut through, and it’s making you a bit cranky. I can’t believe your tooth is already out, it’s so soon! Like the first tooth, many of your firsts feel like they came a lot sooner than they did for Ellinor. Perhaps you’re trying to catch up with your big sister as fast as you can. And she can’t wait.
It seems like there’s a trend of you being extra fussy on the day you turn a month older. This month it was definitely teething. Drooling constantly, grabbing whatever you can reach and putting it in your mouth, and the marathon nursing sessions at night. Luckily, I have years of experience in half-sleeping through the night, so we’re managing. Even better, you have a daddy who is a morning bird and can let me me sleep in a little. That extra hour is priceless!
You now weigh almost 7kg and measure 64cm, a perfect little dumpling (your pediatrician’s new nickname for you this month). You have started to roll over, however only when I’m not looking. A few times when I have stepped out of the room and left you lying on your back, I have found you on your tummy when I come back. With a look on your face saying ‘how did I end up here?’. Seeing how strong and eager you are, your pediatrician declared that you’re ready for solids. Solids?! Wait slow down… You might be ready and leaping towards your milestones, but I’m so not ready!
On that note we have now changed the stroller bassinet into a seat, because you don’t like lying down anymore and want to look out. So instead of falling asleep, you end up doing sit ups. Fearing that your delicious tummy rolls will turn into a six pack, I think this is for the best.
Big sister has increasingly become a babysitter. Yesterday after we came home from school she took off your jacket all by herself while I was in the bathroom. She’ll hold a rattle for you when you’re upset and you immediately stop crying. She sings and performs for you. You’re her only love. We are nowhere near.
It’s been a while since I took my camera out with us, but when the leaves begin to turn color on our third fall here in the city, it felt like time.
This was our first trip to Central Park as a family of four. With two girls, the amount of stuff to bring on a day trip automatically triples, but we managed with one stroller, one bag and a picnic planket. The subway trip also becomes bit more of an ordeal, but in the end all worth it. Because then we get to have a slice of this…
Ellinor discovered the Alice in Wonderland statue for the first time and loved climbing all over, and I miraculously managed to sneak a photo without the whole place covered with little monkeys all climbing around and stressed out tourists who want a selfie.
Alva got to chill out in her big sister’s stroller for a bit and watch the world go by.
I found this very suitably titled bench.
And this is the classic “no photo” pout – or generally I don’t want to do what you want me to do pout, always and forever.
Then somehow, as we headed towards our favorite Sheep’s Meadow, both girls fell asleep and we got a rare half hour of silence and bliss on the luscious green lawn.
Partly that was due to the promise of a treat upon waking up from nap. Apparently we forgot to negotiate the size of the treat…
And that was that. A rare Sunday out in the green, topped with a bit too many tourists. Yet we managed to find our little oasis, and seeing the two girls hanging out and exploring the city just doubles the fun and makes all the extra work a labor of love.
You were extremely fussy on the day of turning 3 months, hence the late posting, due to a combination of growth spurt and mild cold (and teething too?) which means that you want to be carried all day and nurse all night. But right the day before you napped for over 3 hours in the stroller, while daddy took you and big sister out to the farmers market, giving me a nice little break.
At your last check up you weighed just over 6 kg and was 62 cm long. Your pediatrician calls you a pumpkin and says that you have a perfectly shaped head and that you’re super strong. You’re so soft and chubby, and super sweet and chatty when you’re awake and content. You’ll smile at and charm every person who pays you attention.
This month has been characterized by us starting to establish some routines. It’s been two weeks since big sister started the big school, which has been a transition mostly because she comes home so tired from all the enjoyment and learning (she wrote the 3 month sign!). We’re learning the best way to do pick up, and not to be late (once we napped together and woke up 5 min before pick up time at 2.30) and how to manage the one flight of stairs when you are napping in the stroller and we come back with bags of groceries and I need to pee at the same time. Some moments can be a bit tricky, but I think we’re handling things pretty well and learning as we go.
Oh the big milestone of this month: the smile! Not the twitchy REM sleep-smile that came on day 2, but the real awake and looking into your eyes kind, often followed by some delicious coos and aahs that make our hearts melt. You’re a real charmer, always hoping someone will come and have a tete a tete conversation with you.
We’re starting to find some rhythm, even though we’ve been on holiday. You still have several naps a day, with a longer stretch in the middle. You tend to nurse, play and then fall asleep while being rocked, carried or in the stroller. Being carried is by far the most common choice, and everyone in the family rotates to do it. Recently even grandpa got in on the gig, and is now an avid baby wearing fan. I’ve been so confident on your evening routine – that you fall asleep in the carrier after I nurse – that I’ve even snuck out for a drink, something I didn’t do with Ellinor until she was 7 or 8 months old.
This month you have also been practicing hard on your hand to mouth skills and can be found munching on your right hand most of the time, although the left one is starting to make an appearance. I don’t blame you, your hands as the rest of your body (particularly those chubby sumo thighs) are so deliciously munchable, we all want to gobble you up.
Oh my, comparing this photo to the earlier ones, what a difference! We’ll be heading to your 1 month check up tomorrow, so I don’t know your exact weight and length now but you’ve definitely grown, and outgrown your newborn outfits.
Your big round eyes are now curiously looking around and following objects, you love to look at people, especially visitors.I ‘m in love with the little squeaky sounds you make, and when you’re asleep and turn you make a noise like the door creaking. Just in the last two days you’ve started coo-ing. You love being held upright, just like your big sister. Or sitting with your back leaning on me at the dinner table, to be part of the conversation. You enjoy when your big sister sings or plays with you.
The gassiness in your tummy has started, which sometimes wakes you up angrily and definitely makes you grunt and kick at night, our noisy co-sleeper. But I think I’ve got a better hang of it this time, helping you massage and pass gas, and also trying to not nurse too frequently. Often when I do, you end up spitting up way to much. You like to fall asleep in our arms, or in the carrier. The electric swing (very huge and American thing which was passed on to us for free, that daddy had to lug many blocks home) has lost its appeal, although it worked well for the first two weeks. Now you’re much harder to put down and stay down for sleep. You still take the pacifier most of the time though, which means I can relax a bit more between feeds – hooray!
The first month has been beautiful and intense. I want to hold on and savior your little tenderness a long as I can, yet there has also been moments that feel like an eternity. Earlier this week, I hit a low point. I guess the adrenaline from birth has run out and the tiredness of dealing with two demanding little girls has taken its toll. Either you’re sleeping soundly and your sister is playing well and all is peaceful, or you have soiled your diaper and your sister needs the bathroom too, or you need to nurse and your sister wants to play dress up right now. Between the two of you, there’s little time left for anything else, and that’s perfectly ok for now.
Since mommy is increasingly preoccupied with the little one, I’ll try to take over some of the blogging burden of the older one. We haven’t done a proper update of Ellinor since she was 27 months (back when we were still counting months…) so it is time:
Growth & Appearance
One of many selfies. And yes, you know how to choose a filter.
So you have been growing a lot. You keep telling us that you are a big girl now, and you keep claiming that you have long hair (true) and long legs (less true?).
You have become quite a girly girl: We sometimes catch you looking in the mirror practicing smiles and other facial expressions, and you love taking selfies with our phones.
Every morning, you choose your own outfits for the day, while daddy or mommy tries to trick you believe that less is more when it comes to fashion. However, you most often insist on wearing all the most colorful items together, and then finishing it off with a hat, hairband, tiara, and super-girl cape (sometimes all of the above). It is very important for your to be “fin” (nicely dressed).
You love fixing you hair, sometimes as Anna (two braids), sometimes as Elsa (one braid), or sometimes just a simple ponytail. Sometimes daddy even gets to do it, but that often ends up with a tantrum since “daddy, you are not good at this”. However, once I managed to do a decent braid, and you just blurted out “wow, daddy”. I almost cried.
Eating
Breakfast has gone through some phases. You had a cereal phase, yogurt phase, bread phase, and now most recently a oatmeal phase. Now you are sick of oatmeal, and I am not sure what is next.
Dinnertime is becoming tricky since the baby was born. You get distracted constantly and have to jump down from your chair to check on the baby.
Your diet is still rather carb heavy. Favorite foods are: Pasta, noodles, potatoes, pancakes, broccoli, rice, edamame (in that order). But you occasionally binge eat eggs, spinach, tofu and chicken.
You LOVE ice cream, and candy (which you as a true Scandinavian refer to as “things I can eat on Saturdays”.
Sleeping
So with a few exceptions (there is always something: mosquitoes, nightmares, itchy foot), you are sleeping through the night in your own bed. Early in the morning, you come to our room and politely knock carefully on the door, before you scream “pappa, pappa”. We got you a clock that lights up at 6:45am, and I think you honestly tries to stay in bed until the light is on, but sometimes that gets to hard for an impatient girl.
And you still nap on most days. It takes a while for you to get to sleep (especially if we’re at home, stroller works better), but once you do you’ll easily sleep for two hours and it’s hard to wake you up.
You recognize and know how to write almost all the letters of the alphabet (even the Norwegian ones). You can write by yourself “Ellinor”, “Pappa”, “Mama”, “Mimmi” and “Alva”.
Language development:
Your trilingualism has really been blossoming (sometimes you also claim that you speak Spanish). You are effortlessly switching between English, Chinese and Norwegian, and you translate things according to the audience.
Sometimes you have some trouble conjugating verbs and putting the plural on nouns. So you just put the Norwegian ending on English words.
However, English is starting slowly to take over. When you speak Norwegian with me, more and more English words creep in, and you have started finishing every sentence with “right, daddy?”.
Favorite things:
So there has been some important changes in the recent months. Orange is no longer your favorite color. I think some of your classmates convinced you that orange is not a great color for a girl, so now you claim purple is it (still not sure if you actually mean it, or if it’s just peer pressure).
You no longer like hot-dog. The last few times you have actually refused to eat it. I guess we shouldn’t complain, but sometimes that is the only food option for kids…
It also seems that I have failed to get you to like football. Your highlight from the Euro 2016 was the goalkeeper with a pink shirt (think it was Croatia). You kept checking in on other matches, just to be disappointed that they were grey, blue or black.
Your portrayal of yourself with a rainbow hat.
You love to draw, paint and color. It is the first thing we do EVERY morning. Your favorite thing to draw is “rainbow”. In fact rainbow is your favorite thing all together. Rainbow shoes, rainbow sprinkles, rainbow clothes.
Beyond that you love to put on a “show” (where daddy is the “welcomer”, introducing the “beautiful princess ballerina unicorn Ellinor Elsa Anna”) and opening the curtains before you dance a ballerina/monster dance.
Your new favorite game at the dinner table is to go around the table, and everyone has to come up with something that is small, medium or big, and yummy, while you say something yucky. Most often you think for a while, and then say poop.
Patriotism:
My favorite quote of recent months were when you were quite upset with me forcing you to go to the bathroom, before we were heading to Chinatown, and you said:
“I will go with mommy. Just me and mommy. You can stay home. Only people who speaks Chinese get to go to Chinatown…”
I didn’t really plan to do another weekly shot, but then she fell asleep on my chest after nursing and I couldn’t resist trying to take the sleeping photo. You know the kind you see everywhere of a newborn, curled up on the tummy, sleeping so soundly. The kind of pose that felt mission impossible. Well, turns out Alva can be put down, as opposed to her big sister, and she actually stayed sleeping like that for quite a while after the photos were taken. Well, until Ellinor came home and woke her up with her hullabaloo.
The main event of the second week was applying for a US passport. Cut a long story short, we wasted a whole day at the central Brooklyn public library due to some silly policy, but managed to get it done the second morning at the Red Hook post office, with a very sweet and efficient lady who claimed Alva was her youngest client ever. Fingers crossed our little American will get her passport before we travel end of the month…
And so starts the series of posts that makes me realize how quickly time passes… Your first week has been eventful. You came home on your first day, just a mere 24 hours old. On day 3 you flashed your first smile. On day 4 you were tested for with jaundice, which meant the second blood test on your little foot (the first was the standard blood test at the hospital). We had to return day 5 for another blood test as your bilirubin levels were high, but not high enough for phototherapy. That was when you had your first big poop explosion in the car seat, which soiled everything… and of course being a rookie second time mom, I didn’t bring a change of clothes and had to send grandma out to the nearest shop to buy a body (for 40 dollars!). Day 6 saw your third and last blood test with happy results that the bili levels had thankfully gone down and you were cleared for good. It was hard seeing you being pricked so many times, but you were super brave and strong, and barely cried. In fact you charmed all the nurses by being so sweet and quiet at the appointments and staring at them with wide-opened eyes.
But I guess that was probably good timing, as most of time you’re either nursing, sleeping or pooping (or sleepooping). Every day your big sister gets to hold you for a bit, and she loves to help out changing diapers and make sure I feed you. In the very first days when sometimes she wasn’t allowed to hold you she would actually cry of sadness and say things like “I don’t like it when I can’t hold the baby”… but that eagerness has settled down a bit as the week has passed and the newness has worn off a bit.
Presenting the newest member of the Ivershen family! Finally, six days overdue, on a warm Midsummer’s day – June 25th 2016 at 4:20pm – our little monkey Alva Xinran Iversen entered the world. She weighed 3605 grams and was 49 cm, slightly lighter and longer than her big sister – deemed to be the model in our family. Alva in nordic stems from “alf” and like a little elf, she has already brought so much magic and wonder into our lives.
Hello due date. We’re hoping these are the last photos of this series, but the track record of Ivershen babies seem to be that they take their sweet time in entering the world. Two days ago on my birthday I was at the midwife and she did a sweep. Towards the afternoon and evening I started feeling a bit more action, we started packing the bag and big sister said goodnight and goodbye to us as if we were heading to the hospital, saying she will be fine with grandma and auntie. But then overnight everything calmed down and so it has continued. So we’ve taken the chance to stay busy, visiting the Botanical Garden, eating hot pot in Chinatown, hanging out in the park, brunching… and and walking all over the neighborhood. Big sister is wondering where is the baby? (as shown in picture 2) but she’s stopped nagging, I guess also giving in… She did however, as a graduate of preschool, write the sign for this week!
Also as it’s Father’s Day today we thought it only appropriate for Daddy K to participate in a photo, hoping soon that we can take a photo with all four of us together!
On Memorial Day we took a mini vacation and headed for the eastern most part of New York, Montauk. All the way at the tip of Long Island, 3 hours by train the city, we found a quiet town with endless beaches and a picturesque lighthouse. Our motel room faced the ocean, and we slept to the sound of the waves. It was a perfect little ‘baby moon’ as a family of three, devoting some undivided attention to big sister, before the little monkey pops out of the belly.
Today big sister, aka panda bear, who has been so far very patient and loving, gave up and yelled to the belly: COME OUT NOW! I CAN’T WAIT ANYMORE.
Now that grandma has arrived, the fridge is fuller than ever. The hospital bag is nearly packed, and we’re all getting quite ready for the baby’s arrival. I splashed a spoonful of lao gan ma (spicy chili sauce) on my bowl of freshly prepared wontons this evening just for good measure. We hear that eggplant parmigiana and pineapples might also do the trick.
Fingers crossed this little monkey is more impatient to meet us than her big sister, who was five days overdue.
But in the mean time, waiting is not too bad as I’ve got a sudden burst of energy and feel better than ever. Maybe because part of me feels that I might be stuck to the nursing chair for a while, I’ve been wanting to be out and about as much as possible while I still can.
The heat has arrived and it suddenly feels exhausting and oh so hot to be pregnant. Big sister has been a little more clingy than usual, always sticking close to the belly and getting prepared for big changes ahead. Here she’s wearing her “flying cape”.
Here we are in the terrace of our new apartment. Since we moved a week ago, it’s been raining almost every day so we haven’t managed to use it much. Little over a month left, and I feel like a whale. It’s getting hard to tie my shoe laces and the belly is getting in the way of many things, like washing the dishes. But it serves a nice pillow for big sister to cuddle with, which she increasingly does. The past week, baby monkey has also been super active, her movements causing my whole belly to churn in every direction, much stronger than I ever remember Ellinor being.
It’s been a whirlwind few weeks. These were taken the weekend before our move, when our usual photo spot was taken up by moving boxes. Spring had arrived and we gladly changed into lighter clothes, Ellinor insisting on where her Spurs outfit, matching it with her “China vest”.
Ellinor’s face in the second picture pretty much sums up everything, “where did time go?!?” 30 weeks already! As I enter the third trimester, the honeymoon period of pregnancy is drawing to a close. I’m slow and waddling and back aches are starting. Although the other day, walking to the subway after class one evening, a guy came up and tried to hit on me by complimenting my “gangsta walk”. Should’ve seen his face when I told him that was probably just my pregnancy waddle, yo. Pregnancy glow fo’ realz!
Spring has arrived to the city. Earlier this week we had two days when it was hot like summer but today felt more like a regular spring day, with a slight chill in the air, and we were back in Central Park for the first time this year. Ellinor was happy climbing rocks, collecting stones and sticks and coming up with a game of “chopsticks football” using two sticks and a rolled up ball from a used napkin (it’s true that necessity is the mother of invention).
Still her favorite game is hide and seek. And what she means by hiding is that she’ll lean to a tree, close her eyes, and voila she’s invisible. So we have to pretend to look for her although she’s hiding right in front of us… but as long as her eyes are closed we can’t see her. It’s so sweet how she really believes this is how the game is played and I hope that she’ll be able to live in this bubble for a while longer.
Below are some more photos of this silly girl– lover of bubbles and horse carriages, and one who’d rather play with a used up napkin than go on a carousel.
We did our first little mother-daughter vintage shopping today at Beacon’s Closet and Ellinor convinced me to buy this dress, insisting that I really looked pretty in it, like the “color of the rainbow”. At least it was a lot better than all the other glittery, shiny, paillette dresses that she looked at.
Happy Lunar New Year! This past week we all went together to the big half-way mark ultrasound and found out the gender of our little monkey. Big sister has been very doting on the belly, always remembering to run out twice or three times or more to give it a kiss, to avoid her bedtime. We’re excited (and half-dreading) for all the monkey business these two will come up with in the coming year…
It’s hard to believe I’m already half way through this pregnancy! Between school and our crazy little soon-to-be big sister/mama, there isn’t much time left over… but the little kicks that I’ve started to feel remind me that there’s actually a tiny person brewing in my belly that also demands some attention.
l cape (sometimes all of the above). It is very important for your to be “fin” (nicely dressed).
o with a few exceptions (there is always something: mosquitoes, nightmares, itchy foot), you are sleeping through the night in your own bed. Early in the morning, you come to our room and politely knock carefully on the door, before you scream “pappa, pappa”. We got you a clock that lights up at 6:45am, and I think you honestly tries to stay in bed until the light is on, but sometimes that gets to hard for an impatient girl.
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