9/52

17th May is one of the bigger holiday traditions in the Ivershen household, and this might be the first year the girls didn’t dress up in bunad (I think we left them in Norway last year, most likely assuming we’d be back for another 17th May). But besides bunad, we ticked off most of the items on the list including: ice cream, waffles and brown cheese, scramled eggs for breakfast and a blötkake – and had a virtual 17th may celebration with the grandparents. 

As much as we coped and tried our best, it’s still nothing like the real thing and I’m wondering if we’d ever have a chance to go back to the busy bustle of of 52nd street, and the yearly block party that the Norwegian Seamen’s Church threw for 17th may. To think we were there four years in a row.  The day would often be so hot and crowded, and you’d have to queue to get over-priced Solo and hot dogs – but the parade was noisy and fun and we always left sweaty, struggling back into an crowded M train happy, filled with a sense of community.

Our community now is our little suburb of Frösunda, and this afternoon we had our annual cleaning day. Neighbors get together, plant new flowers, oil the wood, dig up and clean the sand, take away old leaves. The older kids help out, and the younger ones blow bubbles. The weather was cold and windy, typical May in Sweden, still there was a warmth of making oneself useful, and spending some time with others. And dinner was fixed with a communal barbecue of hot dogs, burgers and juice for the kids. It was a pretty good afternoon, and perhaps as good as it gets in these strange days of corona. 

Still I find myself missing New York. 

8/52

an inventory of a (self-assessed, slightly dramatic) week:

• our international book order finally arrived. words and images of valeria luisella, miranda july, david sedaris, caroline criado perez, toshikazu kawaguchi all indivudally wrapped and ready to be dug into. as well as equal amount or more in children’s literature.
• ellinor caught a cold, and was home with fever on thursday. fever passed quickly, runny nose stayed. alva claims she caught a cold too, but apart from being snottier than usual she’s just as loud and energetic (if not more so).
• after a couple of days of general worry about our uncertain future and broken half-made plans, thursday saw my work give an all staff announcement that they need to give notice to lay off 5-25 staff. i subsequently signed up to a-kassa (unemployment insurance).
• we made our second tik tok video – #blindinglights and alva has found deep-seated love for japan’s number 1 tiktoker who make silly videos of himself doing “it’s corona dance” and falling into a bathtub. she finds this HILARIOUS.
• ellinor’s newfound joy of old school hopscotch. and my joy to see her innocently playing outside, a break from all the constant curiosity of what’s happening on our phones, and computers.
• sunday evening saw daddy coming down with a cold too.
• being the last woman standing, blogging felt too unrealistic an expectation. especially as i wallowed in the signature self-pity hormones that you feel at the precipice of an impending period.
• now, writing in bed with some mild cramps and the sunset over my face everything seems calmer, clearer, like we have steered through a storm that was mostly in my head and i know we will figure it out, we always do.

7/52

A long weekend back at our favorite place right now, Ekerö. The church second-hand (loppis) re-opened with limited entrance, and Alva pictured with her haul: a crown, a garlic book, and a robot arm pick up tool  – which Ellinor later used to pick up trash. In the picture she’s playing super hero, and making us emergency call her every 2 minutes because a thief had broken in to our house and stolen daddy’s underwear. Alva then comes to the rescue on her super bike, and uses the robot arm to catch the thief. We then do the same scenario at least 10 times, with some minor adjustments to what’s being stolen.

Sometimes Ellinor gets restless and likes to say she’s bored. So I preemptively give her chores. It’s successful about 50% of the time, like this task of cutting old dried up flowers. Not long after a lady bug distracted her. She caught it and placed it in her insect jar for a quick examination and then it was let out, crawling for a while on both Alva and her arms until into flew off. What then followed was a wild action packed sequence, of the lady bug flying off right into a spiderweb, getting caught and the spider coming to speedily to try to eat it but failed as we ran over to see, it retreated. As we watched, the ladybug then managed to disentangle and fall off the web. Nature has never been so exciting.

Not pictured, discovering a few small puffballs (röksvamp) in our garden. Alva spotting all the deer poop (she has a super eye for those). Ellinor going for a jog with me where claimed she either likes to run or walk, but this slow jogging is not her thing. Cuddling with baby lambs at the annual lamb days at Överjärva. Kenneth looking cute in a tangerine hoodie which I bought for myself. And singing along to top hits on the car radio – quality pop à la Melodifestivalen (Swedish Eurovision) and some other Swedish hits like “Svag” and “En säng av rosor” – ballads that are quickly winning the girls hearts.

6/52

We discovered today that Alva can roll her tongue! She was shocked herself when she saw the photo, and then promptly became very proud of her new skill – showing off how easy it was to do to her big sister and dad who doesn’t possess tongue-rolling skills yet.

Spring came with full force this week. I didn’t get to fully enjoy the warmer weather during the week, as work has been busy but we made up for over the weekend. Bikes were oiled, and we went on a first ever family bike trip yesterday to the ponies at Överjärva gård and today another one to Ulriksdal, because the girls both said they wanted to plant more flowers. Alva’s actually quite obsessed right now to discuss all the flowers by the sidewalks – which one is your favorite? Is one or that? Occasionally she will stop to smell. Reminds me of a phase Ellinor had at 3, where she’s lie on her tummy to smell every flower on the Williamsburg sidewalks.

On Friday, Kenneth and I managed a lunch date – no work, and no kids! First lunch out in town, we got to some pho at Eatnam, followed by a cappuccino at café pascal. Apart from some stickers showing where to stand in line, and tables sealed off to make the spaces less crowded – life under corona in Stockholm is pretty normal. We’re still washing our hands and being very diligent with hand sanitizers, and only taking the bus in for school. Alva talks about not having gym class “because: corona” in a matter-of-fact-way and Ellinor’s floorball class has moved outdoors. But other than that, we’re feeling less the impact of corona and have very much adjusted to a new normal.

5/52

The week we re-entered the world and returned to an almost normal life. On Tuesday Ellinor’s school re-opened again. Only the bilingual classes up to 6th grade, and then probably half the students showed up. It was a hallelujah moment tinged with some anxiety- what if? But after that initial bus ride, of seeing and chatting to parents IRL again,  busy city streets, it’s amazing how quickly you readjust to old habits. I had so much plans for wearing face masks, disinfecting all our surfaces, but now that the week is closing these haven’t felt necessary. The habits we have adopted are frequent hand-washing, and after coming home, straight into the shower. No more snacks on the bus.

On Wednesday, I dropped them off at school in the city and then took an quite empty subway to work. The trip was triggered as I forgot my laptop charge in our cabin, and then I thought I might as well just go in. To my happy surprise a few colleagues also went back that day for the first time in a month, and I even had a nice lunch with one at our usual Indian place. The mom-and-pop restaurant was struggling though, as all the office workers had deserted the area and they will soon not afford to pay the rent.

Ellinor lost her top front teeth, which has been wiggling for ages. She’s so happy to be back in school, and we need to drag her from the playground – which is where we pick up because no parents are allowed inside the school. Social distancing in that playground is a distant dream though, kids are everywhere. Still they aren’t hugging and wrestling and Ellinor and her friends have made up their own elaborate corona greeting. Alva also enjoys being back, and on Thursday even went on a long walk (which she claims was short and easy!) to a large park and had picnic.

With Mimmi still in town, we made a productive Saturday morning of creative writing prompts and tik tok video. Then we went to play in Alva’s old daycare which is right below my parents apartment and managed to tempt my mom to come out and see us, and even bring lunch. We’ve said we’re doing social distancing with them now that the girls are back in school but still it’s possible to meet outside and have a chat which makes things all so much easier. Ellinor’s been keen on being independent at home, she can make a smoothie now entirely on her own, and also baked some cookies – with a little helper who was mainly there to steal sirup and scoops of sugar butter mix.

4/52

Easter break. Not that different from the previous weeks, except we’ve got a visitor! We spent the first part of the week by ourselves at the house, continuing with some Daddy school activities and work. Girls are often found biking around the terrace, trampolining and occasionally putting on a dress up show (like this Bollywood one – digging out and squeezing themselves in old dressed from India aka Stoods wedding era). When Mimmi and my parents came back to the house on Thursday, we were ready for true holiday and kicked off on some little projects. A ping pong table was built. Granpa went dug out some old fishing rods that belonged to great grandpa, and Alva found worms (but no luck with fish, too cold apparently?) Family bonding (and fighting) over Pinterest Easter crafts and painting. Baking and eating fresh buns out on a particularly beautiful evening sunset. Kenneth continues to run in the woods, proudly maintaining a Strava record.

Currently feeling bittersweet this is all coming to an end, as we’re supposed be returning to “real life” on Tuesday when Ellinor’s school re-opens again. There’s a bit of logistics to figure out as we go back into the (covid-filled) world, and I feel just lucky that we have been able to be all together, enjoying a few care-free days before reality kicks in.

Happy Easter and sending lots of love to whoever is still reading this blog out there! :)

3/52

This week from above. Highlight was a 24-hour social distancing break from the kids. They were happy to stay at Ekerö with my parents, and Kenneth and I snuck back to our apartment to water plants, pick up a few things and of course enjoyed a rare undisturbed dinner. Old classics such as Band of Horses, The Shins were played, candles lit and entire bottle of wine consumed.

I could complain about the girls craziness and noise level, and honestly breaks from each other are the cure to sanity. But honestly they are pretty amazing and adjusted so well, which just confirms how adaptable and resilient they are, and we could honestly be anywhere in the world (though for the foreseeable future we’ll probably be right here…) and as long as we have each other – life will go on as normal.

Spending all this time together they’re becoming closer sisters and friends, and fighting much less. This morning we heard them chit chatting after waking up in their bed for a long time. Today, true to their personalities one calmly sat and wrote a recipe for blueberry pie (while asking us a million questions on translation and spelling) and then took a photo (yes, the 3rd photo was taken not by me) and the other “helps” by snacking frozen blueberries and jokingly running around the room with her hands and face smeared purple.

2/52

I really don’t feel like talking or writing about Covid-19 anymore (and we’re still at the start…) This week I’ve been more and more “socially distancing” from news, which has been great for mental health. But of course I’m still very much up to date, not least because being in touch with friends and colleagues all over the world – which definitely is one of the silver linings coming from this crisis.

It was strange to go back to our apartment on Thursday, and to find our neighborhood and city pretty much going on as normal. We had a sunny walk in Hagaparken, and all the outdoor seating at the cafe was taken. So bizarre, and almost surreal when all around us countries are locking down and putting harsh restrictions on their citizens. I shift between immense cynicism and dread for what’s the come, to admiration of our public health authority’s belief in individual responsibility and voluntary action. This article pretty much sums it up.

In this experimental limbo state, we try to enjoy our freedom as much as we – socially distanced – can. We ordered takeaway from all our neighborhood restaurants. Spent some time in the playground, seeing other kids and chatted to a few neighbors (but not too close). I went on a bike ride to an outdoor garden, bought a plant and seeds. The girls enjoyed a messy afternoon of re-potting and we welcomed spring, the switch to summer time and looking forward to longer carefree days and finding out footing again.

1/52

Hello friends, it’s been a while. Nearly two years precisely, which is quite some time but passed in a blink of an eye. Ever since moving back to Sweden and starting full-time work, this blog (and my personal Macbook, and for most part camera) has been forgotten in the business of daily struggles gathering dust. But today I pressed click (the top photo, the rest are iPhone) and decided it’s time to rekindle this space – because, #documentingcorona and photography and blogging has always been my best coping mechanisms to get through life. And I have felt a part of me has been missing, and this may just be it.

I can remember our last “normal” day, Monday 9th March. I had a day off for International Women’s Day and volunteered to chaperone Alva and her daycare class to an ice-skating trip. 10 or so preschooler kids, tumbling around, where we spent more time to go to bathroom and feed them lunch than on the ice, but all a great day with friends. The next day Alva got a cough, so we kept her at home. I went to the movies with a colleague after work, and was getting tons of messages from my parents wondering where I was. Panicky ones to say, now it’s time to cancel everything. Move to the woods. We decided to still let Ellinor go to school the following day, which ended up being her last. From Thursday, her school decided to close. And thus, the home schooling and social distancing adventures started.

That sense of doom slowly descending upon us, a sixth sense of knowing this might be the last “fun” in a while. Because, we knew this was coming for a while now, ever since our family in China were put under lockdown, since the skiing tourists came back from Italy. It’s all very weird and surreal. Now, ten days or so in we are adjusting to the new normal. Ellinor’s done her first Skype calls with classmates, a Swedish class were her teacher read a book to students in pjs, and today an piano class on Zoom. Alva hasn’t really noticed much difference, she’s content playing with her big sister and her parents, like any holiday. But it’s not really a holiday, as I’m working from home. Kenneth is mostly the lead home-schooling parent right now, and lucky me that man has some deep reserves of pretend play patience (though even that tank might be running low now).

We’re super lucky to have a house in the countryside now, it’s not far from Stockholm, but feels like a different place. In the woods, by the lake. Perfect for social distancing. We’ve come mostly ever weekend before corona, and now will probably stay a bit longer each time. On good days, the sun is shining, pine cones are collected, hot dogs grilled and we spend a lot of time outdoors playing. On bad days we miss people, miss being out in the world, interactions and that anxiety-inducing feeling of an newsfeed that says the world is crumbling around us.

But as seasoned parents we should know, this is all but a phase. It feels intense, for us and for the world right now. There will be sleepless nights, it’ll probably be worse before it gets better. Still, we’re getting an opportunity to slow down, to spend more time with each other, and if we embrace this we might just grow closer and stronger and treasure this moment in time – which in a not so distant future will feel like an brief episode, a blink of an eye.

Here’s to week 1 of a new blogging year.

Love,
Janie